My Coffee Mug!

My Coffee Mug!


My coffee mug is the greatest coffee mug. Why? Because it’s my coffee mug. Simple as that.

My coffee mug was made in 1982 by the Wallace Berrie Company based in Van Nuys California but was made in Korea. Shocker. Thing is, my coffee mug isn’t a coffee mug at all. Nope. It’s actually a beer stein. Sort of. It’s too small to be a real beer stein and it’s ceramic. I’ve never seen a 10oz ceramic beer stein before, have you? That Wallace Berrie guy must have been deranged.

My coffee mug and I found each other in the summer of 1994. I was living in Santa Barbara, dabbling in college, planning to move to San Francisco and was dead broke. If memory serves me I was in a local thrift store just looking around, killing time, when I looked up and found that little gem. That’s the best thing about thrift stores. You never know what you may find.

My coffee mug had a price tag on it. “$1", it said. My pockets were so empty back then a dollar was stretched far beyond it’s limit and sometimes was tucked deep in my wallet for an “emergency”. But there was something about that mug that made me throw caution to the wind. I grabbed it, went to the counter, paid for it and walked home with a certain stride in my step. It was destiny. I had to have that mug. Even though I had to skip lunch to own it.

My coffee mug made it’s debut the next day. Sure I was broke but I still had to have my morning fix. I walked down to the coffee shop a buddy worked at, had him fill it up for me and I sat outside reading in the sun, sipping coffee out of my new coffee mug. To be honest with you, that was probably the greatest cup of coffee I ever had. Excuse me...mug.



My coffee mug was packed up a few months later and drove in the back of a moving van going to San Francisco. At the time I was living with a girl and after a few months of living in that San Francisco flat, we broke up and I had to move out. My coffee mug came with me. She kept the cats.

My coffee mug helped me get up in the morning. Some days were harder than others, but it was always there to greet me with that big orange and red BEER over an animated image of a rushing waterfall, rocks, pine trees and a mountain top. Even through the drudgery of a 9-5 job, somehow I was always transported, briefly, to a better more serene place. A reminder that life is great and things would get better. Thanks coffee mug!

My coffee mug was with me through good times and bad. Through countless dates and failed relationships. It was washed by various room mates and once used as an ashtray (asshole!) by one. It sat in shelves in a number of kitchens across San Francisco. It lived in the Richmond, Mission, Presidio, Sunset and even North Beach. It even survived a house fire. Actually most of my stuff survived that disaster. Even Castle Grayskull and my “Breakin’ 2" poster. But, that’s a different story.

My coffee mug even came with me on trips. It’s seen hotel rooms in Vegas, cabins in Tahoe, friend’s houses in LA, dad’s place in Palm Springs and was even seen on the playa out at Burning Man. Yes sir, that coffee mug gets around!



My coffee mug is awesome because it holds more coffee than most cups. Why? Because mine is a MUG yo. I feel manly sipping strong coffee (with just a splash of low fat milk thanks) in my coffee mug first thing in the morning. Sometimes I drink from it in the afternoon. If I’m feeling zany, or just run down, it even makes an appearance at night. Oh coffee mug. You’re always ready to go when I am.

My coffee mug intimidates other coffee mugs. Mainly because other coffee mugs are mere “cups”. Mine has a more baritone and roughneck sound to it. Mug. Say it aloud...”mug”. Now say “cup”. See the difference? And if you drank from my coffee mug, you’d taste the difference too.

My coffee mug nearly died. One bleary morning I set it down on a table in the garden as I got the hose out to water. Well I didn’t judge the distance from that table from the knotted heavy hose and, whoops!, the mug got pushed off the table as I wrestled with the hose. It fell, almost in slow motion, to the concrete ground below. My eyes widened and began to tear up, my muscles tensed and my heart sank. Before I knew it, my coffee mug hit the ground. With a loud “clink” my coffee mug failed to shatter, letting me know that my coffee mug is indestructible!

My coffee mug sits next to me as I type this and many other dopey fables. It’s seen me laugh, cry, get mad, pick my nose, have sex, dig lint out of my navel, sleep and eat. It was there when I chopped a big chunk of my right ring finger off. It sat in horror as I almost got arrested (read my book). It’s endured years of thunderous metal music being blasted. It’s watched roller disco, breakdancing and Muppet movies with me. It even came with me to Tucson AZ, when I found true love, and is now here keeping the coffee warm and my heart even warmer.

Yep, my coffee mug is the bestest coffee mug ever!

So raise your glasses everyone. To my coffee mug!