Friday, Feb 26. Day 6.

Whoops!

So, with that...lets recap!

Food: Breakfast - a banana. Lunch - more fajitas (I kinda made a lot). Dinner - chips and pico de gallo. When I came home after hanging out with friends, I made, what would have been, a great tuna noodle casserole. When I put it in the oven, I went to the living room and fell asleep on the couch. Two hours later, I wake up and am all "What's that smell?" Oh yeah, it was the casserole. Burnt to a crisp. Rats!

Booze: Couple of beers at Danny's.

Movies: Most of "Grease 2" before falling asleep.

Mood: Happy-go-lucky.

# of pages written: Half of one in the morning, then some review before going out. So, basically, not much.

Thursday Feb 25. Day 5.

The laundromat is, and can be, a magical place. The one that we use on a regular basis is in quite the precarious location. It' s settled right smack between and popular sandwich depot and our favorite dive bar. Not to mention the hair salon that time forgot right next door. Peering into it, you are immediately transported back to 1974; décor and products frozen in wood paneling and aerosol bliss.

There is also a rather large grocery store, Food City, across the street, one that panders to a Latino crowd, pumping in tejano music with walls of salsas and beans and the best produce section this side of any fancy-shmancy upscale food boutique. So my laundromat is sort of the United Nations of coin-op wash 'n drys. Today was no exception. A rather stout Latino man was talking about doing acid “back in the day” with an elderly white guy who looked like he just stepped off the set of a “Bonanza” episode. Not to mention the handsome Senegalese family, with the women draped in decorative wraps and the dudes donning lil caps, laughing and playing with their daughter, who was the cutest little girl, on the folding tables. All the while as malt shop tunes from the 50s cooed slightly through the speakers. Sometimes life can be beyond bitchin'.

Plus it was a beautiful day. Temps in the 70s, a bit breezy, but the sun was out and fluffy clouds glided across the sky. Funny, because the usual calm of my weekdays off was marred by kids playing in backyards. What the...? Why are kids home from school so early? When I made my lunch I turned on the TV to see that all local channels were covering the big rodeo parade going on here in Tucson. Of course, I remembered, Rodeo Days here in T town is considered a “holiday”, like schools and businesses close, giving some a 4 day weekend. Really? To watch dudes rope and wrestle cattle to the ground then bind their feet? Wow. Gotta love Tucson yo. It is my belief that you should love and fear the town you live in with equal aplomb. I did it for 12 years in San Francisco: Loved it, one of the greatest cities in the world but was mortally terrified on a regular basis. Same goes for here: Cheap rent, great food, good people but I fear for my life every time I step outside my door.

Is that weird? Am I a weirdo?

Anyway, amongst all the colors of the rainbow down at the laundrette, the sky beaming with early spring promise and my current city celebrating its heritage, I would come home, sit down and have to deal with a very dark place. The place I am at in the book is not a very happy one. It took me all day but I pretty much got through it. Its the one section that's really sad and kinda gory. Not like “gory” in the typical sense, I mean, this is me and this is a “kids book”, but still, I typed with heavy fingers and would have to get up and mess around in the garden now and then. A woodpecker bopped his head right above me. The smell of hyacinth filled the air. Then I'd go back in, sit down, look at the screen and sigh. Those poor, poor Turtles...

Needless to say I earned that first beer at 7pm. No new Netflix arrived to I opted for some bad TV (of course) which included that Smoking Gun series about worlds dumbest this and that. I must have watched about 2 or 3 episodes, all with like Todd Bridges, Leif Garret and Tonya Harding making comments. Very surreal. Did you know that Leif Garret was arrested for not only drug possession but for PROSTITUTION? Yeah, ol Leif was whoring himself recently for heroin. Oh how the mighty in once feathered hair and skin tight white jeans have fallen...

Lets recap, shall we!

Food: Breakfast – pineapple, banana, OJ with yogurt smoothie. Lunch – leftover fajitas. Snack – small veggie sandwich. Dinner – grilled mushroom with red jalapeno pepper burger and oven baked wedge fries.

Booze: A few beers.

Movies: None. Netflix has been kind of lagging lately.

Mood: Productive. The usual on my days off.

# of pages written: Dozen or so.

Wednesday Feb 24. Day 4.

Luckily for me I'm good at my job. Luckily for me it's been slow the last two days. This meant that not only was I fully stocked and ready for the pizza apocalypse but had time to sneak off and scribble in my notebook.

See, like any good writer should, I always carry a pen (has to be black ink, razor point, I tend to write very small, much like the notebooks found in “Se7en”) and a pocket notebook. You never know when inspiration will arise. Usually for me it's first thing in the morning, late at night and, if I'm at work, right after lunch. With my prep cook busily doing his work and my manager roaming around and locking himself in the office, I had plenty of opportunities to go into the dry storage area, sit between the big meat freezer and the shelves stocked with cans, and write. Ah to play in the forest when I am surrounded by metal and plastic.

This was good because after work and, of course, the regulated disco nap, I headed out to my local record store, Zia, to pick up the new High On Fire CD. I was planning to actually get home and type up some of the stuff I had in my notebook but, yeah...when your favorite band comes out with a brand new album, to tend to put all other responsibilities on hold. Which I did.

The rest of the night was listening, and re-listening, to “Snakes for the Divine”. I had to take a break and make dinner and watch “Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band” (which was far more psychedelic than I remembered), but when I started “Cant Stop the Music” (which was far more awesome than I remember. Steve Guttenberg in tight white pants roller skating with the Village People? Amazing...) I couldn't resist and put on the headphones and cranked the stereo way past 11. I think it was because they tried to make the Village People, um, 'lady killers', if you know what I mean. Like uber studs on the straight scene. Yeah, the straight disco scene in Greenwich Village in the late 70s. Good job film makers!

One thing that also inspired much lunacy was the fact that I had a day off. This would be the first one totally by myself. My last day off, Sunday, didn't count. That was the day She-Ra left so I spent a portion of it with her. When I woke up today, in quite the fog mind you, I was treated to only the dog, cat, fish and the mess that I had made just a few hours prior. It sure was quiet. Almost too quiet.

OH yeah, and I was supposed to go to Old Chicago, my place of employment, and meet up with people to start the St Patrick's mini tour, which means if I drink nine beers (all Irish) I get a tee shirt or something. That didn't interest me too much. What the heck was I going to do with a green Old Chicago tee shirt anyway? Outside of Guinness, I'm not a huge fan of Irish beers. Sure I missed out on hanging with some friends but, sorry chaps...I had some headbanging to do.

Let's recap!

Food: Breakfast – banana and raspberry yogurt. Lunch – pasta leftovers. Dinner – spicy marinated chicken (I had in the fridge overnight) and peppers fajitas.

Booze: Um, I don't wanna get into it. I was kind of on fire that night...high on fire!

Movies: “Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band” and “Cant Stop the Music”.

Mood: Quiet during the day but at night that switched to Rampage.

# of pages written: 0 typed but a few handwritten. That counts...right?

Tuesday February 23. Day 3.

Let's get down to brass tacks here.

Now, I'm not writing a "kids book" per se, even though the main characters are animals, yet it is a novel aimed at kids, of all ages. "In The Thicket" is not an 'I Can Read' deal, YA novel or even a picture book. Sure it'll be compared to "Harry Potter" and the dreaded "Twilight" stuff, only because of the sheer size and language. The subject matter is quite far removed from said success stories. This is the stuff that I see in my mind for the most part: Furry woodland creatures.

Essentially the story revolves around five friends, a squirrel, beaver, elk, rabbit and fox, that possess more cunning and imagination than most of the others in their home of the Woodland. Sort of like a "Freaks and Geeks" of the forest. Now, I don't want to give too much away, but the Bears, who essentially "govern" the Woodland, made a deal with the Owls, who want nothing but to rule outside of the Order of Birds, and a rift has been made.

Then you have the magic spring that resides deep in the Ant colony, which has been hidden for eons, yet recently discovered by some rogue Moose which changes them into muscle bound freaks. More problems. Plus, those pesky Mountain Lions want in on the action so they side with the bears and become like this sort of security. This does not go over very well. Not to mention the Snakes, who, like the Owls, want power so they get in on the action too. Ugh. So annoying!

Anyway, while the rest of the Woodland does their daily chores, hunt, gather, make homes and live in essential ignorance, our friends set out to make things right. But how? With some help of other like minded inhabitants and a push here and there from the Almighty.

Now, this isn't a religious book, by any means, but I do love theology as much as mythology and to put those two together in a fun series of books has become not only my biggest joy (outside of my lady She-Ra and Heavy Metal) but my biggest obsession.

This is intricate stuff here kids. I'm not farting around. Like when I say I wrote 2 or 3 pages, it took me quite a while to get there. 200 pages in and I am now in the home stretch. By late March / early April I should be finished with book 1. Then I have to find someone that believes in the project and get these things published. Then it's off to the next one. So far I have 5 books outlined. Dude...I so can't wait!

So that's the gist of the gist. Like I said, "In The Thicket" is something that you just have to get into; squawking about it in this here blog, on Facebook or wherever, and chatting about it to you in person just doesn't cut it. It's meant to be written so you can draw your own conclusions and, forbid!, use your own imagination. That is something I miss about reading kids books these days...they do most of the work for you.

Beyond that, Tuesday was pretty quiet for me. Work was slow, I edited a bit and did some story outlining, cruised around the internet and eventually got into some bad TV and cocktails and then it was nighty night.

And I dreamt of furry woodland creatures. As always.

Let's recap!

Food: Breakfast - English muffin made into two small cheese and basil pizzas. Lunch - veggie wrap. Snack - small cucumber and tomato sandwich. Dinner - fresh vegetables with a garlic and plum tomato puree sauce over organic spinach pasta.

Booze: Some beers and a vodka cocktail.

Movies: "I Love You Man" right after "RuPaul's Drag Race" on VH1.

Mood: Content.

# of pages written: 0, but did some editing and outlining, so...sort of wrote.

Chronicle of a Crazed Kids Writer: Day 2, Monday Feb 22

Day 2, Monday Feb 22


It seemed like a good idea at the time.

First off, work was quite hectic. Seeing that I took the weekend off to hang out and help She-Ra then drive her to the airport early Sunday, apparently I missed one tornado of a time. Turns out it was one of the busiest weekends in quite a while and when I arrived at 10am on Monday, my line and station was a disaster. So I spent the day, not only making a lot of food but cleaning, organizing, prepping and stocking, thinking I would most likely have to stay late. But when the night chef arrived, I had just put the last bit of ingredients on the line and got out by 5. Just barely.

Next, I had received an email from this restaurant, BJ's (I know...horrible name!) about some benefit they were doing on Monday the 22nd. If you printed out the flyer attached on the email, they would donate 15% of your bill to the American Red Cross. Sounded decent and a good cause, so when I came home rather exhausted I knew that picking something up rather than cooking was in order.

So after relaxing, showering and making some tea, I sit down at this machine and begin typing. I'm about 200 pages into the book and the fingers just started moving. About 4 or 5 pages in (like I said, not the greatest typist) I heard it. Grumble-grumble-grumble... Oh yeah, my stomach was talking to me. It was definitely time to eat. So I laced up my Vans, threw on my hoodie, printed out that flyer and headed over to BJ's.

The only thing that sounded not so freakin' ginormous or deep fried was the grilled chicken club. Sorry, if you have bacon and avocado on a plate of doo-doo I'll probably eat it. Came with wedge fries and I added a salad for a few extra bucks. When I handed the flyer to the girl taking my order, she looked confused. She even got the manager involved, who looked confused as well. Turns out, I was the only one to show up that night with that flyer wanting my percent of sale to go to the Red Cross. Made me feel pretty good. Then I was all, “Hey! This is the year 2010! How hard is it to hit 'print' and donate to a good cause? C'mon Tucson!” After running a quick errand I came back to find the food ready. Once I got it in the car, oh man...yum city.

Of course the minute I get it home the dog goes nuts. You can see it on his face: “Is that...is that...chicken?! And....and bacon?!...oh no...fries!...I looooove fries!...daddy, I just loooove fries!” So when I sat the heavy steamy bag on the table, he just stared at me, hoping I would give him a treat. Backoff jackoff! I'm starvin' here. Oh like that bowl full of food and the turkey slab I brought home for you from work isn't enough. Jeeze dog. You're one step away from holding out a tin cup and wearing a sign that says “Hungry”.

The TV turns on and I flip between the new episode of “Celebrity Fit Club” (the one where they sick dogs on the fat B-listers and Bobby Brown gets drunk) and “Hoarders”. Either way, dysfunction was the function on the tube.

Tube. Funny because TV's dont have tubes anymore. Well, I mean the old ones do but...ours is as flat as a CD case. Wait, do people still buy CDs? Oh man...

Plus I open a beer and take a sip. Ah! Refreshing. So I start attacking the food and, wouldn't you know it, they gave me a wedge salad. You know, those hideous iceburg lettuce things glopped with blue cheese, bacon and slop? Ugh. Then it occurred to me, I DID order the wedge salad! What the...what was I thinking? Oh I know. At the time I bet I thought “wedge” meant “chopped”. Duh Mark! So I took a bite or two then whistled for the dog. Here ya go you beggar you. He ate it like it was his last meal.

Halfway through the sandwich, something became amiss. I got really full. Like full-full. So I shut the plastic lid and laid back on the couch. Ugh, just wasn't feeling too well. Like my stomach, even though it is and has pretty much always been a bit pudgy, was sticking out like a third trimester and was hard as a stone. I didn't even want to finish my beer. So after some bad TV I turn it off, head to bed and read a book.

After falling asleep, an hour later, I am awake. Bathroom run #1. This went on a few times. #2, #3, #4. Ugh, so annoying. At 3am I went to the fridge, downed a huge glug of club soda, hoping it would make me belch. It just made me pee. So I stayed up, played some games and eventually went back to bed around4am.

Did that sandwich not meld well with some other culinary concoction I had previous or was that salad just sprinkled with pure evil? Either way, I'm still not feeling so hot but, hey, it was all for a good cause right?

I hope my $5 saves a thousand lives Red Cross! Damn.

Let's recap:

Food: Breakfast-English muffin. Lunch-small thin crust pizza with spinach, grilled chicken and black beans. Dinner-half of a chicken club sandwich, some fries and a bite or two of a wedge salad.

Booze: One beer, and I struggled with that.

Movies: None. Some rotten TV for about an hour or two but that's about it.

Mood: Jaunty.

# of pages written: 5 or 6. It could have/should have been more but I got hungry and, well...you know how that ended up!

Chronicle of a Crazed Kids Writer: Day 1. Sunday Feb 21.

The alarm went off at 5:30am. The living room was jammed with two huge bags for She-Ra's month long trip. This time around she'd be in Murfreesboro, TN, opening up a store out there. This trip was a bit different. She was going into snow blanketed territory, temps that dip into the single digits. So her luggage was heavy with thick jackets, sweaters and the like. Groggily we got up, got everything together, got dressed, got everything into the car and got going.

Tucson International Airport is a tiny place, much like a strip mall in any major metropolitan area. We got there right on time. Checked in, checked the ponderous bags and then one last hug and kiss before she walked into the ticket holders area only and was on her way. I'd be back at that airport in about 4 to 5 weeks to pick her up. Man do I hate airports.



For some reason I was wide awake, so when I got home, clock reading 7am, I began picking up the litter and debris from two days of frantic packing and last minute rearranging. That general purge of trash turned into vacuuming, washing of windows, dusting, wiping of counter tops and tables and even organizing the desk and work area. By 10am the house was immaculate. I know it would stay that way because in all actuality, I'm a pretty clean person. Playing the role of a grubby Metalhead just keeps people at bay. If they only knew my real secret: I like things neat and tidy and write kids books. Don't let the long hair and pentagram on my hoodie fool you.

After breakfast, a movie and a nap, I decided to go out and do some shopping. While cleaning, I discovered a gift card to (shut up, I know) Wal-Mart. Seeing that She-Ra took my good headphones when she bought a new MP3 player (the ones that came with it were hideous, sounded like music pumped through a tin can) I knew I had to get some for the month she was gone. Late night impromptu concerts have been known to happen when I'm left alone. Since I don't want the cops called on me, headphones are a necessity. So I pumped myself up, which is necessary before entering yon hallowed halls of Wally-World, drove out and entered.

Luckily, I knew where everything was, so I went straight for the home entertainment area, found a good set of headphones, they were cheap, so I did what anyone else would do with a gift card; loaded up on a bunch of crap. Huge bag of dog food, cat food, kitchen supplies, batteries, work socks, little bits of this and that. When all was said and done, I only owed the nice lady like ten bucks after I used that card. Thanks dad! Best thing is, not one screaming kid, spousal abuse or hairy plumbers crack in the place. But I was disappointed by the lack of mullets. It was actually a quiet Sunday afternoon at Wally-World.



When I got home I chatted with my mom for about an hour. Then talked to She-Ra when she was done with her meeting and getting settled in her hotel room. The it was time for bad VH1 reality shows, “Celebrity Fit Club” and Frank the Entertainer's love show or whatever. Beer started to be consumed. Then the headphones came on and I was soon immersed in old school thrash and metal. An hour later, I was a sweaty mess. Made dinner. Said goodnight to She-Ra. Watched Sinbad's new comedy special. It was okay. Started yawning. Went to bed. It was really weird lying in that big bed all alone. I tried to get the dog to join me but he was happy sleeping by the front gate, most likely waiting for his mom to show up. So I petted him on the head, told him it'd be a while and then went to sleep myself. When I woke up at 4am to use the bathroom one thought came to mind:

I didn't write one word that day.

Rats.

So the process has begun. The lonely chapter, one where I will complete my first full length kids book and try to remain as sane as possible. But I highly doubt that will happen....

Let's recap!

Food: Breakfast-scrambled eggs and oven roasted potatoes. Lunch-turkey sandwich with avocado and some BBQ chips. Dinner-lemon garlic herb chicken over lemon pepper pasta.

Booze: Couple of beers, shot of Jager and a vodka 7.

Movies: “Taking Woodstock”. It was actually a quality movie. A bit slow but really good. Ang Lee did a great job of capturing that moment in time.

Mood: Jumbled.

# of pages written: 0

I totally plan on losing my mind.

"Gee Mark. You sure haven't posted anything in this here blog area for a while? How come that?"

Well curious and diligent reader, I'll tell ya why.

In the late Fall of '09, I began a project I had tucked away for many many years; my childrens book series going by the title In The Thicket. It's been an idea of mine for, oh...what should I say here?...at least a decade or so. My obsession with the likes of The Muppets, furry woodland creatures, mythology, theology and searing Doom and War Metal, the idea for a kids series seemed natural. I mean, those elements go together like fish sticks and 40s. (trust me on this one)

When I decided to become a full time writer (which meant taking a full time job as a pizza chef as well) a good two years after moving to Tucson AZ from San Francisco CA, I knew it would be a tough road. Three years later and one novel, a memoir titled "Rabbit Every Tuesday", down, it has proven to be the toughest thing I have ever endured. But also the most fun and rewarding. Essentially, if I have to work in a kitchen the rest of my life to support my writing habit, I will. I just hope my fiance She-Ra is cool with that.

I just asked her. She said "Whatever."

Well, here's the scoop-a-roo: One day, while planning and outlining the follow up to my first novel, She-Ra and I were perusing the new super Target that just opened up here in Tucson. It's just what you do, okay? Anyway, like the big book nerds that we are, we eventually found ourselves in the "book section", aka rows of crap cookbooks, Oprah approved novels and tripe made into weepy matinee fare. There was, of course, a huge YA and teen centered section. Basically it broke down into three sections: Girl cliques that like to gossip and shop, adolescent wizards and dragon lords and the biggest one of all? Teenage vampires in love. I mean the place was reek with black colored covers and pasty emo kids looking sullen and sultry. Essentially, "Twilight" had opened up a flood gate for a whole new era of "readers". It was amazing. I mean, the books just went on and on...

The next day I open up my file, stashed away deep within our gray metallic cabinet, and got out my notes for my kids series. I decided right then and there to postpone my memoirs (which got great responses but no deals) and go for my true love which is kids books.

For over a month I planned story lines, characters, plot twists, antagonists, divine interventions, gags, clans, forests and a whole new world and nearly lost my s**t doing so. In the early winter of '09, I sat down at the machine and began typing it out.

"In The Thicket" Book One.
Black Sun Rising

It is now early February of '10 and I am almost done with the first book. It's been the greatest thing, waking up early everyday before work and doing what I can on my days off, writing my kids book. I mean, novel. Its not a picture book. Well, there's going to be pictures in it. You'll see...

Here's the thing! She-Ra is a certified trainer for the restaurant we both work in. This means once or twice a year she goes off to a different state to a different city and trains the new bartenders for that store. This year she will be going to, dun-dun-DAAAH!, Murfreesboro TN. Oh yeah...think big be big my friends. Actually its a great little place right outside of Nashville. I could probably be coaxed into moving there...that is if they need a pizza chef.

She-Ra will be gone for a month, starting Feb 21. This can only mean one thing...

I plan on descending into a state of self induced madness.

What does this mean you may ask? Welp, here's the deal. My book is almost done, and I plan on finishing it before she gets back in late March or early April. I plan on outlining the ones to follow; I have 5 ideas ready to rock. And that's ALL I plan on doing. Much like the fore fathers of crazy ass writers, I want to be chained to this machine, jump headlong deep into the Woodland I have created, only pausing to eat, sleep, work, possibly bathe, maybe to watch "Project Runway", and come out the other end a transformed man. Transformed into what? That's what you'll have to stay tuned for!

So beginning Feb 21, I will be chronicling my descent / ascension into a full fledged maniac of the kids book world. I'm looking forward to it. I hope you are too...

Pray for me blog readers of the world. And send a publisher my way now and again...

Thanks!